JANE THEFT OUGHT TO

In recent years the style has changed somewhat, taking on a more cynical, light-hearted tone, and being based on uneven rhyme schemes. I say this as if I had some control over this sort of thing.

Dick flipping soda caps

into a bed pan filled with

honeydew and, now

soda caps.

Spot sleeps, that is, rugwise

rather drooling, mouthwise

rather dreaming, rabbitwise

it's an idle, boring time

to be dressed like postwar gondoliers

with Barney Rubble haircuts

Betty Rubble tattoos

snap peas behind the ears

shoes that buckle like

collapsed earth building

its new volcano for years.

Capless Dick, too mollycoddled

nose now dripping from his sniffs

built some backbone with some whiffs

Somehow still he keeps it bottled.

but then

Laughing, slapping, Jane

busts in - "Wake up!"

quick as a sneeze pulls

Sally's crotchless panties over Dick's

face and chin

clear to his knees - now just skin &

dribbling nose peeking through pancake makeup.

"Time to boost a ride" is what comes

down her pike

Jane she has the tools for the trip

left foot kicks Sally off her trike

black electrical tape binds her hair knot

into a mohawk, and pretends

a Hitler mustache on her milk lip.

Looks new henchman in the eyes

"Good disguise!"

Dick now angry like jigsaw out of gas

sees poorly through panty gaps

and glue lung gasps

so he hits floorboards ready

to haul ass -

pedals to push, grinds to gear

Jane hotwires ignition

chugs a beer.

She'll sit up high to steer

like Rockin' Granny

on Uncle Jed's Jalopy of Critter Fear.

Hillbilly Hell and Hootenanny

Thunderbird tires screech

"Hey, no junkball flivver

here, Dicko!" His advice:

"head for the river!"

It all plays out

when the crankshaft snaps

oil pan drops its load

and a slippery blood diamond asphalt flaps

It's squirming like a toad,

confounds the hounds

and a harbor cop just blows his top.

Dick's a snickerer, but Jane hushes

hidden in culverts none the wiser

Punk rock Sally with leather hair tongue

now beneath green bookie's visor.

But while the fuzz gets waited out

Dick's poor gluesnort heart gives out -

Jane licks mud from Dick's dead eye

"That was fun! Now what we try?"